Becoming a WAHM

The acronym WAHM is not as well known as SAHM, but I'm sure that most people will be able to figure it out. The problem lies in figuring out how to be a WAHM.

There are three parts:

• WORK
• HOME
• MOM

First, you have the WORK. The biggest issue here probably falls on finding a real job. Once you find an actual company that is hiring people to work at home, you have to get them to hire you. Next is the annoying part (and after spending a considerable amount of time looking for a real "from home" job, I wouldn't think that anything would be more annoying than all of the fakes out there)

Technical specifications! 

These are evil words. I am smart; I know a lot about computers and how they work, but all the tech talk really makes me feel like an uncultured, uneducated neanderthal.

So, you find yourself hired and having figured out the technical ups and downs; you even have a date for your training. Of course the scheduling issues start right away. Training is not during your normal availability, so you need to figure out childcare and how to stay awake and focused at 10 pm, while wearing your PJs.

Work is work.

You sit down and do your job, all the while thinking how wonderful it is that you can be in your PJs (and not wear a bra). Plus, when you get your break you can wash those dishes that you left last night. But, then it starts to get to you - all of the things that you should be doing, could be doing, if you were not working, they are right out of reach. This is the second issue: HOME

I would find myself working in my living-room, facing my kitchen and just thinking about those dishes. Then take my first break to finish them up, just to realize that I need to vacuum, during a slow down in calls. The down time is hard, because there is so much to do! 

My daughter would often stay after school when I worked and because we only have one car, I couldn't even pick her up. The MOM issue is a hard one for any mom that works. I even missed decorating my parents' house for the holidays with my daughter and hubby. These are things that I had to deal with as a working-mom, but I was sad and lonely, at home; not at work, able to vent to my co-workers. (I only made one friendly contact during training and she quit a couple weeks before the season ended.)

Now this is a reputable company, but their expectations were a bit high when it came to the agents' availability. You were required to check your schedule in the morning and at 10 pm each day. On top of that, they claim to post schedules 2 weeks in advance, but every week my schedule was changed (and sometimes drastically - aka affecting my after school care needs) four days before the start of that week.

I hadn't mentioned that this was a seasonal position that I was hired on for as a customer service and sales agent. We were hired until 12/24 and had little flexibility: we were not allowed to request off. There were ongoing technical issues all the while, too. I was not happy; the money turned out to be not so great either, as they appeared to have over-hired for the season.

Still, I love doing customer service and the PJ wardrobe was fantastic. It was also nice, not to have a supervisor breathing down my neck, while still having the support of mentors and team leaders all the time. The negatives really out weighed the positives in this experiment, which ended a week early (to my joy), but I got to experience something new and got a taste of how things should (not) be.

I am going back to work in an office in the middle of January. Yes, I already have a new job lined up, but it is probably temporary and part-time. But, this time I know all of my co-workers and I will be out at 3:30. Kind of a miracle for the working mom.

To be or not to be a SAHM

I was laid off this summer. This was something that I had seen coming for months. I had not been at my position with the company very long. However, I really liked my job. As far as jobs go, it was golden. So, I am home with my 5 year old.

 Having the summer off really took a toll on us financially, but I got to spend the summer with my daughter. Still it is much different being at home without a car (both cars broke down at some point this summer) and without money. We had fun, but all of those grand plans of adventures and bonding - well, they kind of got forgotten in the mist of everyday stuff like laundry and me hurting my back.

My daughter is everything to me and I love being her mom.

But I have to ask myself is it better for ME to be a SAHM or working-mom?

I stayed at home with my daughter went she was born, mostly because I couldn't work. Physically, I was a mess. This created a lot of great bonding time in my daughter's memory, but I remember struggling and fighting with my boyfriend about the lack of housework being done. When I was able to again, I worked here and there for a temp service and had months when I was a working mom. There was a time when I worked and 'dad' stayed home with the girl. They are awesome together! 

When she turned 3 years old, things started to change. I saw the signs and knew that she was ready to start pre-school. I had no very little idea of how much it would cost to put her in a pre-school program, just for a half day. There was only one option. GO BACK TO WORK - FULL TIME!

I went back into daycare (I have a love/hate relationship with working at daycares that goes back 10 years). We moved. I was laid off from the daycare and I got my dream job (sort of). The company that I worked for actually didn't care that I would have to blow off at 10 am because the daycare called and my kid has a fever. I worked from home at times and had amazing relationships with my manager and co-worker. 

I felt empowered. I felt useful. I was using my mind - after knocking the cobwebs loose - and it was great. I remembered that I was important to more people than my daughter and boyfriend. I remembered that I was smart, funny and really great at customer service, marketing, and office work. I even got to use my amazing skills at social marketing. 

I loved going to work. 

I loved being with my family on the weekends.

I did not love coming home from work, it was too much - yet, something that you just did. As a mom there is an emotional energy that is expected from your child that, after 8 hours of customer service and marketing, I just didn't have for her.

I still haven't found a job. We do need the money. My daughter starts kindergarten in September. I just have to figure out how to balance working and being a stay-at-home-mom and in the meantime enjoy the rest of the summer home with my daughter!